I have a few thoughts on the Cleveland Browns vs. Dallas Cowboys game this Sunday.
-The return of Ahtyba Rubin—added to Phil Taylor now having three weeks of practice to get back up to game speed—means the run D will be far more stout than it has been to this point.
-Rubin and Taylor sharing snaps with Billy Winn and John Hughes will also strengthen the pass rush, especially in the fourth quarter. This could pay big dividends against a shaky Cowboys O-line.
-Jabaal Sheard will get two sacks.
-I will curse more than two times. So will you.
-Winn will make a drive-stopping play in the fourth quarter. If the coaches decide to move Winn to DE, as has been reported, he could have a breakout game. The guy has a motor that never even slows down, let alone stops.
-Joe Haden will make Dez Bryant simply disappear. (Editor note: This was published before it was said there was a chance Haden may not play in the game. But let's be honest in saying that Bryant has a way of dropping passes and not making big plays on Sundays so he could make himself disappear. Easy cheap shot!)
-About the time it becomes apparent that this game should be getting upset alert status, the break-in highlight coverage will be preempted because Tim Tebow has completed a 4-yard touchdown pass. Granted, the Jets scoring an offensive TD is the modern-day equivalent of Tebow healing lepers; I’m just saying the timing will be bad for the Browns.
-Every rookie QB has that one game where they play lights-out. A desire to rebound from a sub-par performance, plus having a bye week to prepare, means this will be that game for Brandon Weeden. He'll get 330-plus yards, three TDs.
-The Cowboys will become frustrated in the second half and begin sniping at each other like a Real Housewives cast; only with slightly less class and a marginally more nauseating odor. (Can’t imagine the perfume those women wear)
-Alex Smith should change to a number in the 40's because he’s going to continue looking good at the FB position.
-Greg Little will have a massive game including one touchdown catch.
-Phil Dawson will continue his flawless impression of Gus the mule. OYICH!
-The Cowboys will win the cheerleader competition. (I know the Browns don’t have cheerleaders, I was being a smart ass.) (Duh!)
-I will be in Colorado with family and won’t be watching the game. If I happen to see John Elway, I’ll be sure to give him a kick in the shins for my brown-and-orange brethren out there, while yelling “The Karlis kick was wide left!” I will then run away like a little girl.
-Trent Richardson will break a run or a screen pass for over 50 yards.
-The Mohamed Massaquoi “Farewell To Cleveland” tour is now in full swing. The guy has talent, but can’t stay healthy.
-The Cowboys have the exact mental makeup of a team that takes games for granted, and “looks past” certain opponents, which makes them vulnerable to upsets. Muah ... ha ... haaaaaa ..... (Evil hand-wringing gestures)
-Browns win 24-7.
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